Tips for Accepting Query Letter Rejection

GIMME CHOCOLATE, NOW! Dealing with rejection, written and submitted by Molli Nickell (we thank you Molli!)

Heart pounding, you open the mailbox. Digging through bills and letters, you spot something familiar. It’s the SASE (self-addressed-stamped-envelope) you’d submitted with your manuscript. Woo-hoo! Your heart dances with possibilities. “Finally, I can order ‘Published Author’ business cards.” You rip open the envelope and yank out the letter. Then . . .

There it is. That letter. You’ve seen it before. Crookedly copied, coffee-stained, unsigned, offering the same sappy platitudes—“blah blah blah, not right for our list. Best wishes for placement elsewhere.”

Your reaction? “GIVE ME CHOCOLATE, NOW!”

Or, you pull the mail out of the box. “Hmmm, there’s my SASE.” You carry it inside and open it. “Oh well, not a good match. I’ll cross this not-right-for-me agent off my list.”

Same situation, totally different reactions. What makes the difference? Mindset.

The second example demonstrates the reaction from a writer who understands the nature of the publishing business. Instead of the emotionally shattering, kicking-screaming-chocolate-cramming reaction, they simply remove this non-match from their agent list.

Is it easy to adopt a this mindset? No. Can you do it? Absolutely yes!

The next time you receive a non-acceptance letter and wolf down some chocolate, pause for a moment and consider the “why” of your reaction to the situation. As a writer, you’ve created something uniquely yours. Your manuscript is a product of your heart and soul, something that was inside of you, screaming to be written. You listened and loved it well enough to put your BIC (butt in chair) for the required hours, days, months, or years to bring your manuscript to life. Then, the time arrived to send your manuscript out into the world.

Moving from “telling” to “selling” can be a difficult, gut wrenching step. You open your manuscript to scrutiny, and release its fate to the actions of someone else. The feeling is similar to how you might have felt the first time you left your precious child at day care.

However (here’s where the situations differ), you probably never retrieved your child and found a crooked, photocopied note pinned to their little shirt. “Dear Parent, thank you for bringing us your child. So sorry, but he/she is not a good match with the other children in our program. Perhaps another school will feel differently.”

Nobody likes rejection. It doesn’t feel good, especially if your mindset tells you it’s personal . . . which it isn’t. However, some writers (maybe you) build up a case in which non-acceptance becomes vindictive rejection. You decide the person returning your query or manuscript hates you, your ideas, your writing skills, your family, your dog, your haircut, your grandmother, and so on. You expand your “rejection-it-is” to include your entire world.

If you must jolly yourself out of rejection depression, imagine the person who sent you the letter sprouting a wart on their nose (or developing a rash in a place where it’s not polite to scratch).

Then, consider this basic truth about the publishing business. It’s a business. When your query or manuscript is returned, it’s a business decision. The “no thank you letter,” (or no response at all) means that, for one or more of a zillion reasons, what you have offered isn’t what that particular agent is looking for at the moment.

So, what to do? Prepare your query or manuscript and send to the next agent (s) on your list. Give up mailbox angst. Start another project. Hold the thought that eventually you’ll match yourself up with the most appropriate agent to guide you through the publishing maze to publication.

Former publisher Molli Nickell helps writers create effective queries, synopses, first pages, and book proposals. Her “teaching” websites include: www.getpublishednow.biz, http://QueryLetterWizard.blogspot.com/ and http://queryclub.weebly.com/